Helping You Understand
So many families are faced with the nightmare that their loved one is developing a drug addiction. Families are often faced with lies, deceit and denial and simply do not know how to react. Should we get angry? Should we feel sad? Should we be sympathetic?
- The first step is to talk to your loved one about your concern. Try to offer help and support without being judgemental. Unfortunately, denial is the most common symptom of addiction and therefore we would suggest that you are prepared with a list of specific examples of their drug use or behaviour which have concerned you.
- Make sure that you look after yourself. Dealing with someone’s addiction can be very tiring and stressful and it can be very easy to forget about your own needs. Too often we hear from family members who have completely lost their own lives as a result of their loved one’s addiction.
- Do not blame yourself. You can help, support and encourage your loved one but remember that you cannot force them to make decisions. If you really want your loved one to change, you will need to start by putting clear, health boundaries in place, known as tough love.
Not To Do List:
- Do not bribe, threaten or lecture
- Do not make excuses for them or cover up their behaviour. This is called enabling and will lead to further drug use.
- Do not take over all their responsibilities. Remember – they are an adult.
- Do not argue with them when they are stoned or high
- Do not feel responsible for their behaviour
- Don’t yearn for perfection – it’s impossible
We understand that this advice is not always easy to take on board when faced with such a stressful situation but our counsellors are just a phone call away and are happy to help. We are experts in the field of drug rehab and addiction treatment and are happy to support you through this process.
If your loved one accepts that they have a problem and are willing to accept help, please call to arrange their free assessment.
If your loved one is still in denial about their addiction, please call us for support and ask about our intervention service.
“When our son came to us asking for help to fight his heroin addiction we didn’t have a clue. No idea. In the dark. We tried to get advice from the GP, the local Drug and Alcohol service and even from acquaintances in the probation service. There seemed to be no help anywhere. I spent all night on the internet searching using terms such as ‘Rehab’, ‘Detox’ and ‘Drug clinic’. The same things came up, loads of ads for fancy country houses offering 2 weeks of painless detox for exorbitant fees, or methadone programmes. He had tried a methadone programme before and it had only added another addiction to his growing number and he wanted to avoid that.
Our daughter sent me an article Russell Brand wrote after Amy Winehouse died in which he wrote eloquently about Total Abstinence. Until then, I had not thought to use the term in a search engine and I am so grateful that I did, as the Providence Project came up straight away.
Late at night on the Friday of a bank holiday weekend, after fraught sleepless nights of searching and trailing around trying to get help, I called the number. A real person answered (Thanks Darren!). I was distraught and probably incoherent, but he calmly explained what the Provy is about and our son’s recovery began at that moment.
It was not easy or painless, and he made some daft mistakes along the way but he was guided through his recovery with dedication, firmness, tolerance and love. We were helped, too, and whatever happens, we will always have warm feelings of gratitude to everyone, clients and staff, who had a part in giving us our boy back.
(16 months clean and sober at the time of writing.)”
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