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Can you stay sober in a world that doesn't stop drinking?

Alcohol is woven into almost every part of British social life and traditions. Pubs, weddings, work drinks, family gatherings, football, celebrations. For most people, none of this requires a second thought. According to a 2022 Health Survey for England, 56% of adults reported drinking alcohol that week, and 80% had drunk that year. 

For someone in recovery from active alcohol addiction, the question isn’t whether you’ll encounter alcohol, but how often. And the answer for most people in Britain is all the time. Building a sober life without retreating from the world entirely takes a huge amount of willpower, but it also takes careful strategy and the right support.

addicted man sleeping after drinking

Why sobriety feels harder than it should

Sobriety in a drinking culture can feel like you’re constantly struggling uphill. Everyone else can enjoy social situations effortlessly with a glass in hand, while you’re worrying about how long it’s polite to stay and what to say when someone offers you a drink.

This may seem melodramatic, but drinking is so normalised that most people who aren’t in recovery never even notice. Alcohol is the default at almost every adult social gathering, so choosing not to drink can take careful planning.

That said, things are changing. On the opposite side of those that drink alcohol every day, one in five UK adults now doesn’t drink at all, and that number is growing, particularly among younger people. In 2024, an estimated 8.5 million people took part in Dry January. Choosing not to drink is becoming less unusual, even if it doesn’t always feel that way when you’re in recovery.

Other people's discomfort (and why it's not your problem)

When you stop drinking, even people who care about you can react oddly. They push you to have “just one,” ask intrusive questions, or even seem offended by your choice, as though your sobriety is a judgement on their drinking.

But that is about them, not you. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, and you don’t have to make them feel comfortable about your choice. “I’m not drinking tonight” is a complete sentence that doesn’t need any reasons unless you want to give them. 

Most people, once they realise you’re serious, will move on without much fuss. The ones who keep pushing are often the ones with their own complicated relationship with alcohol. And you can feel compassion for that without letting it pull you back.

Practical strategies for navigating drinking situations

Even with all the willpower in the world, it is still worth planning for events and situations where you know there will be alcohol present. Here are some easy-to-follow strategies for staying on track:

Decide before you arrive

If you walk into a pub or a party without having already made the decision not to drink, you’re leaving yourself open to in-the-moment bargaining. Make the choice before you leave the house, so that when someone offers you a drink, you’re ready to say “no thank you”, without any deliberation. 

Know what you’re going to order so there is no awkward moment where you turn down an offer. It doesn’t matter what the drink is, but have it in your hand as soon as you can because this will stop people asking.

Many social events get harder as they go on, as people drink more and the energy shifts. Arriving on time and leaving after an hour or two is a reasonable strategy. You showed up, you connected, and you left before it became difficult.

This might mean attending with a sober friend, or agreeing on a check-in time with your sponsor or therapist. Having someone with you also means they can make an excuse for you if you want or need to leave early. In some cases, they can also have a quiet word with people, so nobody offers you a drink or creates an embarrassing situation.

You’re there for the person, not the drink. If it’s a wedding, you’re there to celebrate your friend. If it’s a work event, you’re there to show your face and maintain relationships. This reminds you that alcohol was never the point, even though it may have felt that way. 

man with alcohol in hand graphical image

When avoidance is the right call

While those strategies can work for avoiding relapse, some places, people, or events are genuine threats to your sobriety, and the wisest thing you can do is stay away from them.

This is especially true in early recovery, when your defences are still being built. At this stage, it is best to avoid the pub where you used to drink or the friend who always enabled your worst behaviour. 

Knowing when to skip something isn’t a weakness or something you should feel guilty about. It’s about creating a situation where you don’t have to rely on willpower alone. Once you feel more secure in your sobriety, you can make conscious decisions about those situations and people going forward.

Building a life that makes sobriety easier

Long-term sobriety is about building something that doesn’t revolve around drinking culture. This happens gradually, but it means new routines that don’t centre on alcohol, and new connections with people who don’t need you to drink to enjoy your company. 

The ultimate goal is a life where not drinking is just the way things are. It is when you can stop counting days and start living them, and when social situations that once felt difficult become ordinary. 

If you’re finding it hard to stay sober, or you’re struggling to imagine how sobriety fits into your life, Providence Projects can help. Our alcohol rehab programmes are designed to give you the tools and support you need to build a recovery that lasts, which we also further support through elements such as secondary treatment, sober living, aftercare and the UKAT Alumni Programme. Get in touch with us today to talk through your options.

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